Ok, as someone who has a difficult time getting rid of anything that has sentimental value–clothes, dishes, furniture, etc.–it hurts me to say this, but “Our children do NOT want our stuff.” All of that priceless junk is going to a huge, maybe sad, yard sale to be shared with those who never knew us.
Something should be said about not wanting to be tied down by belongings, so I get it (not really, but that sounded appropriate…). They don’t want our stuff, but you know what they do want. They would love to have our family stories documented, our memories recorded in a journal or on the back of some envelopes, photo albums with explanations of who the folks are and the significance they played in our lives, and maybe a few small items they can stick in a box or display on a shelf that brings a smile when they pass by.
Someone recently told me that we all spend the first two-thirds of our lives collecting stuff and the last third of our lives getting rid of it. My mind can’t dismiss that thought. I have started looking at my belongings and house furnishings, plus ALL my Homer Laughlin dishes I have collected over the years (it’s a sickness!) with new eyes. What have I seen for the first time with these new eyes, one may ask?
I have seen an extraordinary amount of STUFF, my stuff, that I love. Much of it stayed packed away for just the right time until recently. Lovely wedding china sat displayed in the dining room waiting for just the right occasion. Now it sits close by and is used. To be honest, I feel a bit guilty that our children didn’t eat on those dishes regularly. Now they and the grandsons will. One reason they’ll have the opportunity is they don’t want my stuff after we are gone. Haha. I need to use it now. Moral of this story is to use what you have collected.
That brings me to why I am really writing this post. I referenced early in this post and many times since that our children don’t want all our stuff but do want our memories, stories, and photographs that help to complete those special stories. There are actions you can take today to make that happen while keeping all that stuff that you love but know needs to be some place else, some way, some day, some time…
I realize not everyone loves to write, is as organized as you’d like to be, or has the desire to do what I am suggesting, but each of us can do something starting now to leave more than just our STUFF…
Write letters of memories to your children and mail them. Give each of them a pretty box in which to save the letters. Begin or continue journaling your innermost thoughts, your dreams, your bucket list, and anything else you want to live on when that time comes. Write names, locations, and significance on the backs of photos that mean something to you. Print some of the photos off your phone…
Most importantly, talk to your children and grands…really talk. Allow them to ask questions of you and answer them with honesty. You get the picture. Your stuff may end up living with strangers, but you can live forever in the hearts of your loved ones.