Grief has many faces and comes from many places.  It is different for everyone who walks the path, yet very much the same. It can be a long and lonely path or something that looks a bit different.  One thing is for sure; it can be a bonding agent for those who have walked this rough road.

I watch this phenomenon on the second Monday evening of each month at our Grief Night and on Wednesday morning at nine at Journaling Through Grief. I see folks who carry diverse life experiences bonding over something much like fear.  C.S. Lewis said, ” No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear.”   We talk. We listen. We cry. We laugh. We question.  We accept. We bond.

I think what I see quite often is a realization that we also remain bonded through memories to those we have lost through divorce, death, a break-up, a move, or any other situation that has separated us from those we love. The stages of grief may be different, but there are commonalities among us that propel us in the same direction toward growth and transformation.

Writing helps us hold onto memories and assists with making sense of the world and our place in it. Writing can give us the courage, a safe place, to move through the stages of grief. It can provide a place to discover or rediscover interests, talents, hobbies, and even a place to figure out our own legacy.

Research shows that grief journaling is therapeutic and a tool to help us cope. Someone once told me that journaling is a “venue for expression without judgment.” I tend to agree.  Don’t think or get too logical when beginning.  Just write until it all starts to make some sense.  I know that not everyone has happy memories associated with the one that is lost, but writing can help us work through all sorts of feelings, hurts, and questions that may remain.

Below you will find some journal prompts that might assist.

Today, I am really missing…

I am having a hard time with…

I am ready to…

My support system includes…

I feel most connected to my loved one when…

I can honor my loved one by…

What is something I can do for someone else who’s hurting? Write the plan.

Dear Younger Me…